just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
