Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
as a side note pls kill me
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