i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
