Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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