On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My day in three words: secret purse cake
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
