Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
