Jerry, you need to find god
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
