Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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