Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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