she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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