you would pick up someone in the library
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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