Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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