At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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