hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
