Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize