whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
