Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
