dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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