I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm sobbing to NWA
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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