Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
COCAINE IS GR8
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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