sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
