Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
