Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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