also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
