i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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