He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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