It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
