Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
