just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Will exercising make me less horny?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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