Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
only if we run a train.
done.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
