I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
