idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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