Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
