I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
