I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
