Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He's a Shit stain on my heart
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
