my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
