Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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