then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
