other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
