My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
