I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize