I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
