oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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