First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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