No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
