Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize