I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
