he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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