I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize