For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Randomize
