I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
