Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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