Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
