I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
