Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Christians are straight up FREAKS
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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